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Stuck

by Beef and Stump

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1.
Bull of Death 05:55
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Verse We knew our days were numbered We tried to make them extra long just like this song We knew our days were numbered We tried to make them extra long just like this song Chorus Three thousand Six hundred Forty two point three Days For me Me and my bull Verse His victims are many His friends are few I remember him That’s what a friend can do His victims are many His friends are few I remember him That’s what a friend can do Chorus Two thousand Three hundred Twenty five point nine Days For me Me and my bull Verse My friend the Bull of Death Is going to kill me I’ll end Just like this song My friend the Bull of Death Is going to kill me I’ll end Just like this song Chorus Just nine hundred Just nine hundred Fifty two point three Days For me Me and my bull Verse I remember him and me in the scrub Nothing around Our breathing The only sound I remember him and me in the scrub Nothing around Our breathing The only sound Chorus We couldn’t count days We couldn’t count days Or hours Or minutes For me Me and my bull Verse I love my friend the Bull He loves me Wrong but strong Just like this song I love my friend the Bull He loves me Wrong but strong Just like this song Chorus We’re down to one We’re down to one To one, one point nothing Days For me Me and my bull Verse When it’s time for him to take me I’ll open my arms Leave this world And leave this song When it’s time for him to take me I’ll open my arms Leave this world And leave this song
2.
Beach Ball 03:10
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Verse I want to pull the string on your bikini top I want X-ray glasses from the comic shop I want a picture window in the swimming pool I want to watch your skirt on the way to school Chorus By the shade, in my room You’re a beach ball baby on a hot afternoon Verse At the sock hop party with your sweater tight At the football practice with your dress hitched right Lunchtime letting your blonde hair fly Up the stairs with a flash of thigh Chorus By the shade, in my room You’re a beach ball baby on a hot afternoon Verse That pushy boyfriend is way too old His perfect smile is a little cold What secret moves do you hide at night? What games do you play when you’re out of sight? Chorus By the shade, in my room You’re a beach ball baby on a hot afternoon Verse Dreams get stale and sunlight fades Roaming eyes behind the shades Then another curve comes around the bend And drives me to pretend again Chorus By the shade, in my room You’re a beach ball baby on a hot afternoon
3.
The Dark March 04:52
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It was Volga Until I was eight And then Stalin Stalingrad The Red Army Was a living If you joined the Party I joined the Party *** My family My children Were caught In the Stalingrad fires My oldest was five No one survived I was safe As safe as a soldier *** It was short The Battle of Kursk They killed more of us They retreated first I didn’t die My body was whole My soul I lost my soul *** Nemmersdorf It fell to our guns No more huns Still we Still we killed Shot prisoners Belgian prisoners And some civilians And more civilians *** We marched Marched into Berlin No one In Berlin Wanted us in We raped the women So many women But not the children Not the children *** Home Home is no more I remember home Home died in the war I sleep and I eat I still have to live I feed my cat My cat forgives
4.
Nitrogen 01:54
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Verse To break my heart You’d have to freeze it With liquid nitrogen And hit it hard With a ball peen hammer Still the shards Would rise again To make me leave you You'd have to blast me To Triton Or maybe Mars When I orbited back I'd ask you to join me On a beach Under the stars Chorus I love you baby If things go wrong Remember that I love you baby If things go wrong Remember that And remember this song Verse My love is hot Like a Chernobyl Or an atom bomb Not a CANDU CANDUs don't melt Graphite’s bad Heavy water’s good If you called for me I’d come much faster than The speed of light Einstein says Nothing goes that fast Relativity But my love might Chorus I love you baby If things go wrong Remember that I love you baby If things go wrong Remember that And remember this song
5.
Me and Billy 03:12
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Verse Well I made a mental note (That's a bad place for a note I was down in the basement (That's a bad place for a goat) I was looking for a parka (That's a bad name for a coat) I got butted by Billy (That's a bad name for a goat) Chorus Me and Billy We drink my daddy's 'shine He's my daddy's goat And a real good friend of mine Billy and me And moonshine makes three The jugs is in the basement That's where we wanna be Verse We was down there on a Sunday (That's a bad day for a drunk) Billy smelled a little randy (That's a good smell for a skunk) I said lets us go outside (That's a good place for a stud) So I led him to a doe (A good girl for my bud) Chorus Me and Billy We drink my daddy's 'shine He's my daddy's goat And a real good friend of mine Billy and me And moonshine makes three The jugs is in the basement That's where we wanna be Verse Billy really liked that girl (That's a bad name for a date) He wants her for his woman (That's a good name for a mate) I said run to the mountains (That's a good place for a home) Have kids under the mountains (And let your kiddies roam) Chorus Me and Billy We drank my daddy's 'shine He was daddy's goat And a real good friend of mine Billy and me And moonshine made three The jugs was in the basement That's where we used to be
6.
Self Taught 02:24
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Verse The numbers are highly inflated The twin towers never fell You live in a cocoon No one landed on the moon I've got lots more secrets to tell Chorus I'm self taught I've done the research I'm self taught I know things you don't know I'm self taught I'm as smart as anybody I'm self taught They were wrong to call me slow Verse NASA is the Ministry of Lying They guard the Earth's ice wall The world’s flat and round With tunnels underground NASA's been lying to us all There’s a council That trying to run the planet And water down our booze They want to dig our graves They want us as their slaves My gun and me are gonna refuse Chorus I'm self taught I've done the research I'm self taught I know things you don't know I'm self taught I'm as smart as anybody I'm self taught They were wrong to call me slow Verse Vaccines give you cancer Corrupt your children too Pharma wants control They want to drug your soul And make a puppet out of you You say you don’t believe me Maybe you’re one of them Our time is coming You won’t see us coming We’ll make the world great again Chorus I'm self taught I've done the research I'm self taught I know things you don't know I'm self taught I'm as smart as anybody I'm self taught They were wrong to call me slow
7.
Safe with Me 03:01
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Verse She was sipping Her something Her sweet something We were deep Deep in the heart Of something avenue She sipped one While i drank two I thought of a joke Only just in my mind It started me laughing She asked me why Wait a minute i said A minute or two For the joke The joke to come true Chorus She said honey Please order some food I said honey Please don't you fret I drank my dinner Before we met Verse Order some food Maybe some fingers Something fingers With avocado dip But finish your drink Your little something Just a few more sips I'll order number two Chorus Or maybe honey Just skip the food Because honey You're safe as can be Let's drink dinner You're safe with me Verse No need to fuck Except in my mind Please be happy Have a good time Have some drinks It's so easy To get happy Just look at me Chorus I said honey Let's both skip the food I said honey I'm safe as can be Let's drink dinner You're safe with me
8.
Road Song 02:56
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Verse It’s raining just enough To make the wipers give a damn The asphalt’s black and wet It thinks it’s young again My woman likes the rain The way it sounds and how it smells Rain can be a demon When it lets loose, when it rebels Chorus There’s a motel waiting For us ahead somewhere We’ll know where we’re going As soon as we get there Verse My woman likes the rain The way it sounds and how it smells Rain can be a demon When it lets loose, when it rebels One time she pulled us over We made out beneath the rain This rain is not enough For her to pull us over again Chorus There’s a motel waiting For us ahead somewhere We’ll know where we’re going As soon as we get there Verse One time she pulled us over We made out beneath the rain This rain is not enough For her to pull us over again Ten thousand miles ahead and ten thousand behind If I’m out of luck for hundreds I swear that I don’t mind Chorus There’s a hotel waiting For us ahead somewhere We’ll know where we’re going As soon as we get there Verse Ten thousand miles ahead and ten thousand behind If I’m out of luck for hundreds I swear that I don’t mind We’ll deal with the driving And wind and rain and snow We go together Everywhere we go Chorus There’s a motel waiting For us ahead somewhere We’ll know where we’re going As soon as we get there
9.
Carbon 03:09
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Verse I dare ya I dare ya Grab it outta my hand Wanna die? Wanna die? Grab it outta my hand Chorus People don’t know People don’t learn People is carbon And carbon’s gotta burn Verse “I don’t wanna die” Like everybody else That’s what you say Don’t wanna die? You’re gonna die Anyway Chorus People don’t know People don’t learn People is carbon And carbon’s gotta burn Verse “You don’t, don’t Have to do this” Yeah yes I do I gotta kill someone Too bad It has to be you Chorus People don’t know People don’t learn People is carbon And carbon’s gotta burn Verse It could have Been cancer The big C We die for no reason You’re gonna die From me

about

Dark and funny, sometimes both in the same song

credits

released December 26, 2020

Beef and Stump is
Tinned Beef: music, guitar, and vocals
Peameal Stump: lyrics, harmonica, and vocals
Clementine Gangrene-Gates: engineering

Guest artists are
Deep McSteel: bass on Bull of Death
High Hat: drums on The Dark March
Magpie G: bass and mixing on The Dark March, mixing on Bull of Death
Scotland the Brave: trumpet on Bull of Death
String Lord: ukulele on The Dark March, cello on Bull of Death

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Beef and Stump Toronto, Ontario

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